red sky in the morning

Something fun and fluffy and then it's back to laying low for a while. Remus Lupin takes a nap and I rejoice in drawing feet that look like feet.

hold on hope

"There is a certain kind of pain that can change you. Even the strongest sword, when placed in a raging fire, will soften and bend and change its form. [...] 

Trust me on this one. I know from personal experience. I hope that you never will, but, since you're a person, and therefore prone to making horrible, soul-splitting mistakes, you probably will one day know what this kind of guilt and shame feels like. And when that time comes, I hope you have the strength [...] to take advantage of the fire and reshape your own sword." 

-A Tale Dark and Grimm by Adam Gidwitz

* * * 

When I was 14, I made a soul-splitting mistake. The result was an abusive relationship that lasted for 4 months. I never told anybody at the time;  I internalized the guilt and shame and feeling like I deserved it for being a bad person. It took me 14 years, the quote above, and Mumford & Sons before I finally told my family and my best friend what happened that summer. (see also : letting go) Since then I've started reshaping my sword - I've started to forgive myself. Progress is slow - some scars will always remain - but now I'm more focused on my future than in lingering in my past. 

I'm happy. 

Grayle (the character above) goes through a soul-splitting mistake of her own, a point of no return. Writing her story is forcing me to go a little darker than usual, but it's also helping me overcome my own lingering anxieties. It's a shared journey, and maybe she'll find a happy ending, too. 

(textures taken from texture king)

when the day breaks through

trying new things - needs more lighting

 (inspired by one of my favorite places to read growing up, though the character is not meant to be me)

gone are the age of the innocent ones

Scene from the new project, featuring an adapted version of this girl.

 She was designed four years ago with a pet penguin; then last year I got this image in my head about where her story actually started. Since then she's had to evolve (and lose her pet penguin, I'm afraid) for the sake of a story that made sense contextually - which also means no more wandering around snowy landscapes in oversized clothes. That's fine, and it's fun - because the character herself hasn't really changed; just the way she presents herself to the world. 

In other news, Tool concert tonight!

filling the darkness

 

Generic!

I was going to watch this the other night but then I watched North & South instead and spent the evening convinced that Harry Potter had traveled back in time and become an industrial tycoon with a heart of slightly-blackened-gold. 

So maybe this weekend! 

winter's on the wing

Pining on the moors because why not. 

sunshine in my eye

Jim is a grumpy kind of guy.

good intentions

Roland convinces Sawyer to try his dad's cocoa.
She agrees but plans a polite escape.

(It really is the best cocoa she's ever tasted.)

you will find your way

Some secrets aren't worth keeping. 

vanilla chai

 In a world of "what ifs," and "if onlys," Snape changes his destiny.

(this is a trick - I drew this last year for my sister when she switched jobs)

(also : I love drawing frowny faces!)

 

Shiny things!